6.2.1986/age 16
I don't know what to say.
I don't know how to feel
or how to act
or how to ask for help when all kinds of
doctors and teachers and parents
were offering.
But I need you.
I needed you even before you came along,
I needed you while you were here,
and I need you even more now that you're gone.
But I can't bring you back.
I don't even know how to make you hear me, but if I could
there would be so much to say.
Most of all: Why?
Why, you fucking bastard,
why couldn't you see my need,
when you said I gave you something to live for, were you lying?
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