lament ~ 8.28.1986 #2/age 16
silent waters call;
the echo of the crashing tide
parallels the beating
in the stone cold chambers deep inside,
crying silently, still trying to cope
with the emptiness that's left.
I wonder, still, where you are,
lifeless in the ground, or is it
possible you're alive somewhere?
More alive than you ever were,
or were you even there?
a dreamlike state;
the memories stored away
as to remind me, the happiness
is unattainable now.
Wherever you are, I know I'll never find you.
Whoever you are now, you'll never be you again.
The grass still grows around the place;
the stone still clean and white
trod upon by visitors; still your spot
is empty and alone.
And there are many, in measured rows,
so no one unfamiliar knows the pain, the loss.
Cold and calculated, routinely reserved,
the shots were just the start, but the pain
is what broke my heart.
5:05 - I felt the shot; inside, I begin to rot.
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