Well, that was unexpected.

So, an 18-year-old girl came to my door selling magazines for one of these work programs (which are very questionable, to say the least: they’re often basically migrant worker situations which prey on young people).  Even more questionable than I thought: turns out her boss has told the young women there they will get fired if they become pregnant.  I’ll be making a phone call in a few days to assure she’s not linked to that disclosure. Grrrr.  Suffice it to say, I went inside and got her NWLC contacts in case she or anyone else should need them.

She had caught me photographing spiders when she walked up, and we wound up talking for a bit. I do have some mercy for door-to-door folks…well, when they aren’t trying to sell me religion.  Last week the Mormons came.  Telling them I was Buddhist didn’t get them gone (”That’s cool,” they said.  “If it’s so cool, you can respect it and go now,” said I.  They didn’t) and in trying other ways to get them gone, the pug ran out.  She doesn’t care why someone is there, just if they’ll pet her — so I wound up telling them as they were oh-cute-pugging her that she, too, was Buddhist.  That got me enough of a pause to be able to scoop up the pug and shut the door. It was at least more polite then the time years back in Chicago when I walked out naked to scare them off.  That works very well, for the record.  It was just too cold that day, and I’m a bit less emboldened to use that trick with my 38-year-old-ass than I was with my 23-year-old one.  Anyway.

But folks like this, PIRG canvassers and such… it sucks having a door slammed in your face on those jobs every few minutes, so I do tend to offer a porch seat and tea when I’m not smack in the middle of something.

As anyone who knows me knows, I have a strong confessional vibe: people I barely know tell me their unsolicited life stories on a daily basis. I sometimes know more about someone I have just met within minutes than others close to them know after years.  When I take quizzes to find out what job is the best one for me, clergy always comes up first.  G’won and laugh: it’s okay.

She’s the mother of a three-year-old already, was taking about how tough it was, and I mentioned what I do for my living in the course of sympathizing.  She then lets out a long breath and tells me that she’s three weeks pregnant again, only recently relocated to here, and has wanted an abortion, but had no idea where to go, how to go about it, what it entailed.   She also starts talking about her birth control history and how much Depo sucked for her.

So, there I was, just back from counseling the homeless teens — and truthfully, looking forward to a bit of a slow afternoon — basically doing a gratis options counseling session, as well as a birth control and DSHS-benefits consult, on my front porch. (And yes: for the big worriers, I know. I know that it was entirely possible this girl who looked and sounded just like the teen mother from Jackson she said she was was someone else entirely, and I took a risk.  I know.  But I also know that look, that sigh, and how this conversation goes with someone who really needs to have it.)

Obviously, I didn’t have to do any of that, I volunteered it, so it was hardly like my day was ruined.  Her day was apparently made, mind: she thanked the powers that be for landing at my door more than once.  It was just…very unusual.

Note to self: when really wanting a few hours of downtime, don’t answer the door.  Because apparently, it’s not as simple as not going to the work: it can also come right to you.

It’s been a strange day, period, actually.  On my way to the residental center, I got stuck sitting still on a bus for a half an hour because we just happened to pull up to a corner downtown in the middle of a freaking bank robbery.  Thankfully, when the cops poked heads into the busses, I didn’t set off anyone’s radar.  I tend to be one of those folks who authority figures immediately identify on sight as trouble, so I was glad my silent mantra about not being searched when I was barely awake was successful.

I think I need to be done leaving the house or opening the door today.

posted in Heather Corinna, home, Auntie Heather's Helpful Hints, abortion | permalink | comments (3) »

I call to you, Internet, for help with two fairly droll issues.

1) Anyone here an Excel-yoda?  What I need to do is use an existing contacts database (one that was organized pretty poorly, especially for this purpose) to create many, many mailing labels for a CONNECT mailing that needs to get out super-soon.  I don’t know how to do this, nor do I know how I should best build a new database to make mailing other organizations easier in the future.  What I do not want to wind up having to do is to type all of these contacts twice, once in a new database file and once in a Word doc or something else so I can do the labels.

2) Lobster mushrooms.  I got a beautiful bag of dried ones from the forgaged edibles folks at the farmer’s market on Sunday, but I’ve never used this particular type before.  I was thinking about a smoky, mushroom-garlic-coconut milk sauce, or maybe a lovely barley soup, but I’d love some other ideas, especially if you’ve cooked with these before.

posted in Heather Corinna, apropos of nothing, burning questions | permalink | comments (5) »

Last night, I decided to stay home rather than go to the Mariner’s game with Mark.  This was because:

a) I knew I was going to get whacked with cramps any minute

b) I really wanted to watch the debates, and

c) the Mariners suck so much that I always get in trouble for cheering on anyone who finally hits a freaking ball  — no matter which team does.

I put on some comfy jammies, grabbed a big bottle of wine and settled in on the sofa with the pug.

She didn’t seem particularly interested, which really bothered me, so I explained to her that, “We could lose even more of our rights!  Well…maybe not you…wait a minute, maybe you, too!  McCain and Palin don’t give a hoot about animal rights, you know.  They’re shooters…maybe even little tiny pugs like you when they run out of bigger critters and other people they decide are animals to shoot at!”  Sofia jumped into my lap, looking very concerned, and I felt bad about freaking her out.  “Don’t be scared, I’ll protect you, but seriously: this is important.”

She let out a snurf of relief, and was more attentive henceforth.  I took dictation and have transcribed some of her more notable responses for you.

• As McCain is talking about cutting pork-barrel spending when his VP is a fine example of doing it, Sofia cocks her head, and turns around and looks at me, her eyes big.  I know, little dog.  I know.

Of course, she may have just heard the “pork” part.

• Sofia shakes her head at Repubs talking healthcare.  We huff together at the cute idea that we can all just go choose our doctors here in lalaland.

• For the most part, talk of finances bores her.  Clearly, Sofia is secure in her financial status, which is profoundly foolish, since that’d be my financial status. However, when environmental discussion comes up, she perks up her ears. She’s an environmentalist!  Who knew? Good dog!

• When Obama is talking about assuring higher education for everyone, I realize I have never asked Sofia if she wants to go to college.  So, I ask.  “Hey Sof: college, or home on the sofa?”

Crap.  She interprets this as me offering her a treat.  I must have used my wanna-treat voice.

• Talk of terrorism causes the small-but-mighty pug to leap atop the cat-scratched loveseat and devotedly guard the front window.  If they come for us, she will kill them with cuteness and a painful ankle-nipping.

• H: What do you think about Iraq and Afghanistan?
S:  (head cock, offended snurffle, looks to Obama)
H: You going to ask Obama?
S: (even more deeply offended look) She communicates that not only does SHE understand what’s going on, she’s pretty sure Obama does.  But probably not as well as she.  Gawd.

• McCain makes Sofia snore.  Me too.  But she says likes his floppety face.  We have a serious discussion about how you can’t judge a jerk by their jowls, or think that someone is okay just because they kind of look like you, only hairless.  I think she gets it, but we may need to revisit this talk for her safety.

• Invite them over for tea…snrf.  Obama made a funny.  This dog is easy to amuse.

• I remark that McCain looks constipated.  Sofia concurs and suggests he needs more whole-grain fiber in his diet.  Maybe a biscuit.  Which maybe she needs herself right now, come to think of it.

• Boy, Henry Kissinger is getting a looooooot of phone calls tomorrow, and I think McCain’s face is going to be even more pink.  That’s what Sofia says, anyway.

• She gave McCain a gold star for mostly passing his self-assigned geography quiz.  She says,  “Oooh. Snrf.”

• Now that there is spaghetti and not-meatballs in front of me, Sofia could give a rat’s ass about the election.

H: What do you think?
S: Spaghetti.

A little later…

H: He will take care of veterans?  Riiiiight.
S: Spaghetti.

H: Oh,  that was really lovely.  I’m not being facetious: that was good stuff about –
S: SPAGHETTI.
H: I give up.  Oh, good, so did they.

posted in Heather Corinna, apropos of nothing, puggy business | permalink | comments (3) »

Just a reminder: September 25th is the last day to submit public comment on the proposed HHS regulations which are not only superfluous, but more importantly, would limit access to reproductive healthcare (and other healthcare) services in the U.S., particularly for those who already have the greatest limitations to care.

It’s so important to have public comment on this, so if you have not done so yet, take a few minutes tonight and be sure to get something in, even if it’s just a very polite way of saying “Go to hell.”

Here’s mine:
I am writing to urge you to stop efforts to block women’s access to basic reproductive health services.

I understand that the proposed regulations that the Department of Health and Human Services released on August 21, 2008 expand existing law to allow more health care providers and institutions to refuse to provide needed care.

As written, the regulations could allow institutions and individuals — based on religious beliefs — to deny women access to birth control and permit individuals to refuse to provide information and counseling about basic heath care services.  Moreover, they expand existing laws by permitting a wider range of health care professionals to refuse to provide even referrals for abortion services.

For those of us working in healthcare, the onus is on us to choose a clinic or an area of practice where we know we want to provide the healthcare services offered to clients, and which we feel is in alignment with our personal values or religious beliefs.  It should not be on those seeking needed health services.  It is our responsibility — and we have the greater agency as as workers — to seek out the work we want, and leave the work we do not want, or do not feel we can live with, to those who are supportive and can honor any given job description.  It is also our responsibility to take a job earnestly, not disingenuously.  In healthcare, we have an extra responsibility, which is to put our clients needs and their physical health  — not our ideas about their spiritual health — ahead of our own, and to care for them in the way which is best for them, objectively, rather than in the ways we feel would be best for us, or feel our religion would mandate.

Since this proposal has come to light, I have looked for any evidence that it is in response to a mass of healthcare workers voicing complaint and finding they are incapable of doing the very jobs they have agreed to do.  I have found no such thing.  I have also found Mike Leavitt’s responses to the concerns of many with this proposal to be disturbingly dismissive, belittling and out-of-touch.  The notion that low-income people can (or should have to) simply and easily choose a healthcare provider whose religious beliefs match their own, as Leavitt has flippantly suggested, is a stunning display of ignorance about the realities of public healthcare and those in need.  The Department of Health and Human Services is the principal agency we have for “protecting the health of all Americans and providing essential human services, especially for those who are least able to help themselves.”  That does not mean those who work in healthcare: it means those seeking and receiving healthcare.  The head of the HHS blithely stating he is privileging providers over patients seems effectively to be saying that he has no real interest in doing his job or serving the population he has sworn to through his appointment.

That given, I simply can only reasonably deduce that this proposal is one last gasp from the Bush administration to try and limit or remove more of our reproductive rights.  This appears to be nothing more than one more back door through which those who want to control women — rather than to provide healthcare, which is not to be confused with morality lessons — and put our health at risk can creep in under the false pretense of self-protection.

I work for two different reproductive health organizations, with populations who would be the most impacted by this policy, should it be approved: with teen and young adult women, with women of color, with low-income women.  At both, I see daily how — already, without these new regulations — lack of access to reliable contraception and reproductive health services and accurate information has a negative impact.  I see it with the clients who come to the clinic I work at, where we provide abortions and other reproductive healthcare services: a great deal of our clients arrived there because their access to contraception and sound information on contraception was limited or absent. For a nation who endlessly states it wants nothing more than to limit abortions, policies like this have a funny way of showing it.  I see it with the young people I counsel every day who often go without reliable contraception or sexual healthcare because of discrimination they face from healthcare providers, ignorance about contraception due to the limitation of their providers, or valid worries that they will be refused care or service, or given morality lectures rather than healthcare.  For a nation which states it wants its citizens to be as healthy as possible, and who want its youth to thrive, proposals like this appear to stand in a strange conflict with that aim.

I do not need to work for either of these organizations: I have far more choice and agency in where I work and what job I do than I  — or others — do when it comes to healthcare, particularly as an uninsured person in the United States who relies on sound public healthcare.  Should I ever forget that, I think it would be sound to suggest it was time I found another profession and that I consulted my conscience.  It is a cruel irony to have this proposal state to be about provider conscience, when, in fact,  it appears to be about suspending conscience altogether.

My clients cannot exempt themselves from their healthcare needs: I can exempt myself from a job I do not wish to do, or set aside my own personal beliefs to honor those of someone in need of care who has every right to receive it.  If I am in earnest about wanting to support reproductive health in my work, should I find myself unable to do the work or put needed care first, exempting myself from it would be the only sound recourse.  I should say the same about the federal government and this proposal if it truly supports our health. At a time when more and more Americans are either uninsured or struggling with the soaring costs of health care, the federal government should be expanding access to important health services, not undermining existing protections or interfering in programs that have successfully provided services for years.

For certain, freedom of religion is an essential part of the foundation of this nation: however, separation of religion from public law and policy is the other vital half of that equation, and required for that very freedom.  For all of our citizens to have the liberty our constitution assures, it is necessary that no one set of beliefs or values be privileged, nor exercised at the cost of another person’s health.

For years, federal law has carefully balanced protections for individual religious liberty and patients’ access to reproductive health care. The proposed regulations appear to take patients’ health needs out of the equation.  I urge you to restore this important balance and protect access to basic care for the millions of Americans who depend on federally funded health care services.

Thank you for your consideration,

Heather Corinna
Founder and Director, Scarleteen.com
CONNECT Program Director, Cedar River Clinics/FWHC

posted in Heather Corinna, activism, soapbox, feminism | permalink | comments (1) »

So, the other day at RH Reality Check — a fantastic place I love and am so glad to have a column at, but the fundies do tend to seriously abound there — I was discussing what kinds of sex education programs exactly Obama supported for young children which the McCain campaign purposefully misrepresented.  In a word, it’s good touch-bad touch stuff, about personal safety and boundaries, the kinds of things ECE and elementary educators and community educators have addressed for an age. Nothing new here to see, kids.

When someone suggested parents could opt out of this, I had to ask why anyone would, really, and how, exactly, one was supposed to teach that age without ever addressing these issues with children since they tend to come up just among children themselves with some frequency.  I got a response which read,

Here we see why all this “opt-out” business is a sham. If Ms. Corinna’s mentality is pervasive among public school educators, then as a parent, “opting-out” of sex ed for your child is tantamount to entering yourself in the school’s sex offender database.

There is more (fairly fruitless) discussion there, but when I read that, all I could do on this end of the connection was silently mouth, “The fuck?!?”

(And not just because I’ve never worked at a school with a sexual offender database, nor can I imagine that I’d ever, as an educator, finding myself looking to use a child as any kind of weapon, retaliate against a parent or presume that a parent who objected must be abusing their child.)

It wasn’t progressives who have been at the root of, or in support of, sexual abuse panics.  It’s not progressives or educators (or both) who would do children and their families harm by false smears because we couldn’t have things go our way.  It’s not been progressives who look to annihilate, execute, terrorize, slander or otherwise go nuts harming or killing people to weed out “the (invisible) enemy.” The Patriot Act? Vietnam? The Rosenbergs? Lynchings and whites-only swimming pools?  The Salem Witch Trials?  Our current immigration laws? Not us, dude.

And then it struck me: I keep seeing this common theme over the years where it appears that neocons and fundies aren’t so much worried about us making OUR mistakes, or doing things the way we tend to do them.  Rather, they seem much more concerned that we are going to make THEIR mistakes, or use the tools and tricks they have tended to wield (and we have tended to strongly protest) against them.  I also feel like a certain sector of that population is so drawn to the idea of a fearful, omnipotent god simply because they don’t trust themselves without one.  What keeps them “in line,” or behaving in the way they feel they should, is driven strongly by a potential punishment if they behave differently.  In other words, I am seeing a whole lot of projection.

This is but a theory, and it may or may not be apt.  If it is apt, it’s going to be mighty tough to convince a group of people who don’t trust themselves without a certain structure — I’m not entirely sure real esteem can even happen in hierarchy — why some of us can be trusted without it and don’t feel we need it, or even if we share it, see it differently, incorporate it differently in our lives, and don’t feel that those without it are automatically untrustworthy.  In terms of hysterical panics — like the red scare, like the ritual child sexual abuse panics, like terrorist panic — if they see them as valid (and they tend to) and not as grave errors and abuses, it’s going to be tough to get them to see why we disagree, and why for those of us who do disagree, we are incredibly vigilant about NOT doing anything remotely like that as part and parcel of who we are and what our own ethics are all about.   If it is apt theory on my part, what is this really about?  Is it as basic as being about low self-esteem (when it isn’t megalomania), or is that totally simplistic and ridiculous?  If it is that basic, how, exactly, do we help raise their esteem, particularly if it’s trapped in power-over/power-under, and particularly when so often we’re the -under in that equation?

I have an aunt-by-marriage on my mother’s side who is one of my favorite people in that family.  She’s a longtime born-again Christian in a family of Irish Catholics, and I can assure you she wouldn’t be saying the kinds of ridiculous things I keep hearing from people who say they are like her. When we have a conversation, now and then she injects some scripture in, but in the way you have a conversation — it’s an inclusion, with room left for everyone else’s inclusions as well. She voices what she does because she is expressing something for herself, making a connection, looking for her thoughts to be one part of the whole quilt of the discussion.  She’s also always been massively supportive of me and what I do, is a big fan of the book, and is a very potent but gentle caller-outer of bullshit and hypocrisy.  Maybe I need to ask her about this.  I feel like she’d get what I’m saying (or tell me I’m being totally bizarre) and have some interesting perspective.

This stuff hurts my freaking head, man.  Not because I’m an idiot, but just because I’m so tired of thinking about it and trying to figure it out, especially when I’m trying to do so at the same time I’m trying to discuss things reasonably rather than giving it all the hell up, calling them a big doodyhead and heading off to enjoy my rights while I still have them.

Speaking of interesting perspective, I FINALLY came into touch with someone who is pro-life, and who is also feminist, vegetarian, antiwar, antioppression and against the death penalty.   I have been trying to find someone like this for YEARS, because I felt like the ONLY productive discussion I could ever have with someone who was pro-life was with someone who wasn’t kidding around when they talk about valuing “life.”  So far we’ve had some amazing exchanges, even though we’re really just getting started, and while I don’t expect either of us to agree with the other when all is said and done, it so far seems pretty enlightening and awesome for us both.  Cool stuff.

* * * * * * * * *

Over the last couple weeks, I have, at last, met a goal I set last fall of having 10-mile rides here be not only something I can do, but my average ride, having accepted that the 20-mile rides on flat land that were the mainstay in Minneapolis and Chicago cannot happen on the hills here.  I’m peeved it took me so damn long to get there, but 10 is now not easy, but doable, and I can exceed that distance on a good day, too.  Friday morning I actually just spaced out for a while on a trail and wound up doing 13 by accident.  Didn’t space what distance I’d done by the time I had to pedal the long grade up to get home, and my pubic bone still feels like a dart shooting straight up my coochie everytime I sit down or try and do something more pleasant with that location, mind you, but still.

* * * * * * * * *

By the by, we’re starting a new guest-blog series at Scarleteen written entirely by people of color on all things sexuality and sexual health.  I have a nice handful of cool people on board who are going to get started, but I would love to have even more.  Anyone interested? We’re also getting started on our election materials, so if anyone wants to help there, that’d also be fantastic.

* * * * * * * * *

In other news, it came up during a hangout with friends at the house that I’ve had more than one editor make clear that if I were willing to write a memoir about my adolescence, I’d probably have a contract in three seconds or less.

While it’s entirely possible I’ll do that at some point in my life, a) that point isn’t now, b) there’s no way I’d do that unless most of my family were dead, just because the worst offenders would make my life a hell yet again otherwise, and c) I can’t figure how I’d write something that’d mostly make someone want to off themselves while reading it, since so much of it would be about plain old awfulness.

But then it occurred to me that what I could do is simply write nothing but the GOOD moments that occurred during that occurred for me between the ages of 10 and 16.  Given the number of them, you’d have a clear understanding of how awful most of it was for me.  The extra bonus is that it’d also be a very, very short book to have to write.

I’m calling it 57 Minutes of Joy.

posted in Heather Corinna, because sometimes I'm an asshole, burning questions, the god squad | permalink | comments (4) »

Yeah: I’ve been just plain speechless.  A rare occurrence, to be sure.  Savor it.

I don’t know if it’s watching neocons identify sexism like it’s this brand new kind of insidious ugly which has ever existed before last weekend,

…if I’ve been too tired from tending to pregnant teenage girls living  in the world the rest of us do and whom no one is looking to elevate to sainthood (though better a slut than a political prop, to be sure),

… if it’s a certain sector all but rubbing their slimy hands with glee with the prospect that all this groundwork they’ve been laying and getting laid (fitting, that) will bring us to the point where they don’t even have to pretend we’re not fulling embracing facism anymore,

… or if I’m just starting my usual slow descent into election dread, in which case “Fuck me,” is really all one could have to say.

posted in Heather Corinna, in which I throw up in my mouth a little, the god squad | permalink | comments (6) »