This guy is certainly not the first person to say this stuff, and alas, it’s unlikely he’ll be the last.
But sweet Jaysis, could someone, anyone at all, explain to me HOW — exactly — same-sex relationships threaten, or make less strong, opposite-sex relationships? Have straight relationships, because they’re allowed to exist and be recognized, made my same-sex relationships lesser in my experience without my even knowing it? Because I’ve no interest in participating in marriage, but want my relationships to have import, does that mean that I should feel that married people are a threat to me? Do friendships make romantic relationships less meaningful? Do strong and stated-to-be-important parent-child relationships do that to romances or sexual relationships, or vice-versa? Does my love for my dog undermine or negate your love for your cat? Does my love of biking render your love of running meaningless? How can one person’s traditions, somehow dismantle someone else’s when both are allowed and can exist simultaneously?
HOW, for the love of gawd, HOW?
I know: I’m asking the wrong crowd. I’m just so endlessly tired of hearing this sentiment but even more so, tired of never once hearing it actually explained with that funny thing we call logic.
(And for the record, do people like Rep. Hayes just conveniently forget that it’s pretty likely, by his standards, that those wacky guys who founded the nation in the first place would be anti-American? Yeah, probably.)
October 21st, 2008 at 9:39 pm
You ask good questions, my friend. But the truth is…yeah, actually…those things ARE threats. They’re threats to people who aren’t secure enough in their own decisions and identities to be comfortable with other people having different identities and experiences. They’re threats to people who need the flock of sheep to be completely homogenized so that they feel like they belong somewhere. They’re threats to people who don’t have the slightest fucking clue where to even BEGIN being themselves.
We’re the lucky ones, who managed to come through this world so far without losing our own sense of identity and personhood. Who managed to embrace our uniqueness and celebrate it in others. Who deeply believe in a “live and let live” philosophy and truly don’t understand when other people aren’t on the same page. These things seem so basic. And they ARE. Or at least…they should be. So we wake up another day and keep trying to be goddamn good examples to the rest of the yahoos out there who aren’t blessed with the overabundance of self-esteem that we are. And we keep hoping and trying because it’s the fight worth fighting. Because it’s what Buffy would do.
xoxox,
Colleen
October 22nd, 2008 at 6:29 am
In Canada, gay marriage has been universally legal for about 5 years. I think one of the reasons is that gays are powerful members of the Conservative party. John Baird, openly gay, is the federal Minister of the Environment. He is not a gay “activist”, he is just openly gay.
http://pm.gc.ca/eng/bio.asp?id=48
The Deputy Premier of Ontario, George Smitherman is openly gay. When he married his partner, it made the social pages but not the front page. He is the most powerful Minister in the Ontario government being the Premier’s top trouble-shooter.
http://www.energy.gov.on.ca/index.cfm?fuseaction=about.minister
In this, they are following the lead of feministd who 20 years ago made themselves dtrong and valuable Ministers of State.
So the sky hasn’t fallen. The earth still seems to rotate on its axis. I suspect as the United States gets more mature. A person’s sexual orientation will become less and less an issue. The unchristian wrong is rapidly losing credibility in the United States.
October 22nd, 2008 at 8:52 am
And on the political side of your comment, have you followed the latest stupidity from Michelle Bachman (a hater, to say the least)?
She’s so sad, stupid and clueless.
October 24th, 2008 at 8:20 pm
I saw a fridge magnet today reading “but Mummy, won’t gay marriages be happy marriages”. I think that might be part of the answer. People like Hayes are really scared that people in same sex relationships are having more fun than they are, and think that if they’re legally recognised they’ll be getting the best of both worlds, and to people for whom envy is a foundation of their being, that would just burn them up.
October 25th, 2008 at 1:48 am
Thank you! Just, perfect, as always.
Also, I probably owe you an explanation about my not being in Seattle like I thought. Everyone in our super-duper house of lesbians lost their jobs. Even me. The economy is being a little like monkey poo so we’re waiting.