“And yet, the way the clients have been with me, the way they want to disclose so much and have me hold so much while they’re in with me stands counter to that. I’ve heard more than once that I “just can’t” be as open to them as I have when it comes to kind of holding their truths and their feelings and really being in it with them for that brief period of time and possibly deal with it…and yet, I know full well that I certainly can, and that it’s one of my gifts as a person. It’s not one-sided, either: it doesn’t just benefit others, but it also deeply enriches and expands me, too.”

This is what if feels like to do psychotherapy, on my end. To me, the essence of “helping” someone is loving them, and that is where the real healing happens. You can withhold yourself, sure, and some good can come of it, but I don’t believe true transformation occurs without a bit of love. We just have to really nurture and love ourselves as well.