12.22.2001
She's on the plane. Byebye Heather! It was lovely to have you here! M. and the kitties send their love...
posted by hanne blank 1:47 PM
Kids, let this be a lesson to you. Even seasoned sex educators who should certainly know better can get drawn into wild, mindless flights of frenzied, passionate oompa-loomping without taking reasonable precautions. Remember, the only way to be truly safe from disease, unwanted pregnancy and whim-of-the-moment piercings is to dip your genitals into liquid latex (two coats, for safety!) available at any hardware store, in a variety of colors. Don't forget to sand between coats.
posted by Chris Bridges 7:55 AM
12.21.2001
B., I have to confess something.
I brought Heather here with an ulterior motive. A hidden agenda.
First I gave her presents. I bought her booze. I wined her and dined her.
I let her put a fez on my cat.
So I earned her trust. I made her feel welcome, warm, wanted. All the things she thought she wouldn't get while she was away from home, away from your sweet kisses, your loving arms. So...
I then seduced her into getting into the photo booth at the American Visionary Arts Museum. (You know she's a real redhead when she'll do it in a photo booth.) She loved it. She wriggled in my lap and asked for more. She even fed the dollars into the slot to document the entire experience. (What a tramp. Damn.)
But now, today, in the aftermath, the remorse hit me. Agonizing, searing, remorse. I took her to the clinic.
And they said it's too late. There's nothing to be done.
Name it after me, willya? I don't mind if you give the baby your last name, B. I hope you'll raise it as your own.
I'm taking her to the airport tomorrow morning. Be kind to her. And make sure she takes her prenatal vitamins.
posted by hanne blank 6:16 PM
You know Heather, your teeth *are* really gorgeous (did you know that people who have "larger" than average teeth are considered more sexually desirable? It was a study I saw on the discovery channel) it is a pity you have such problems with them.
posted by Lisa Link 1:24 PM
Heather has the sort of smile that melts me - that of a person who's having so much fun at the moment that some of it just has to come spilling out of her mouth.
Sigh.
posted by Chris Bridges 9:48 AM
You big sweetie, thank you. I'm lucky, actually, that all of my present dental problems are usually not visible, save the back molar giving me The Swollen Cheek That Ate Cincinatti.
I need to call my mother when I get back home, speaking of teeth. I guess she really, really wants to fly B. and I in for the holidays this week. Not only do I tend not to like to do family things at the holidays -- I find it's much less stressful to visit at other times of the year for everyone -- I can't help but want to ask that if she's wiling to just toss what is likely more than $500 in our general direction she toss it into my mouth. $500 would not only get the one tooth that has been making my life hell out of my mouth, it'd actually give me a really good head start to all the other oral surgery and gum/tooth treatment I need to have. So, it's a conversation I really should have.
We could actually drive to see her, but I miss my home, humble as it is, and since I can't drive B.'s car (legally or otherwise), that'd put 7 hours of driving on him each direction. Ouchie. And I was really looking forward to spending the holidays at home, snuggled up with he and the pug. In a highly uncharacteristic vein, I even was thinking about getting a tree this year, just to have the scent of evergreen floating in the air.
Last day here. I really hope to the gods that be that I can wake up and get out of here on time tomorrow. The flight is pretty early, and since I have been here relaxing, all of my usual routines seem to have been usurped: I have been staying up late, sleeping in, not doing my yoga or meditation, eating like I could save up food in my small intestine for winter and the like. And tomorrow is a long, long day of flying, including a pretty sizeable layover in Chicago, although Nora is driving up there to help me bide my time for a couple hours, which should be fun. I didn't realize until we were on the phone making plans last night that she's from the same part of Chicago I was born in and spent a good chunk of my childhood in. I was this close to asking where she went to elementary school until I remembered she's more than ten years younger than me (which has happened with everyone I have ever met online from that area -- it's getting to the point where I need to start asking if they knew each other instead).
Not sure what today will hold, but I just woke up to find the house empty, which means Malcolm recuperated enough to go to work today, and that's a Good Thing.
posted by Heather Corinna 8:36 AM
re: the middle picture - has anyone told you lately that you have the most beautiful smile?
you do. I'm just sayin'
posted by Jane Duvall 2:55 AM
12.20.2001
So, because I can't really add the Clix pic from here (as gee, you likely figured out the first or second day I was on vacation), and because I miss my pug, I went and looked up what I had sitting around live already uploaded on directories, and found a few gamine gems.
A very surprising yawn, when the gal was just a wee pup.
Last summer, edging in on a photo shoot.
...and edging inon yet another shoot. Just two days until I am reunited with my soulmate. Oops. And my spouse (B., you know I love you, I do, but you don't wag your ass quite as jauntily as Sofia does when I return home).
posted by Heather Corinna 6:53 PM
Hanne and I did make it to the visionary art museum today, which had an utterly astounding two-floor installment on war & peace which left me with a gargantuan lump in my throat for at least an hour afterwards. The guacamole afterwards helped, perhaps lubricating my esophagus to better help the lumps slide down to my tummy.
It's such complex emotional subject matter for me, art -- especially visual -- which addresses very serious emotional processing about war, likely because of growing up with anti-war protestors, being one myself for just about all of my life, and simply being so particularly vulnerable to people's processing and expression of feelings about war who have really been directly involved in them as victims (which doesn't simply mean someone with a lost leg, but anyone who was or is living in a country/community throughout a war), soldiers (who often fall into the former category as well, especially emotionally) or immediate onlookers. But it truly was magnificent. If you're in or near baltimore, I'd say a trip was well in order. However, not to be a nit picker, but there was a great quote from Phil Ochs' Universal Soldier on one wall and on their website which was attributed to "Buffy Sainte-Marie, from the song Universal Soldier." Not only does one not quote whoever happened to sing or say something previously written to just whatever passerby happened to do so, but in this case, given the author of that piece was a brilliant artist and a very brave ex-soldier who truly compromised himself to become a peace revolutionary and folksinger who isn't as well-known as he should be, it was just heresy. Which was multiplied about ten times because Buffy Sainte Marie (sorry, Buf) made that particular song sound like ass.
Hanne and I even played in the photo booth for a bit, though given the small space I had to sit on her lap to make it work. Oh, and there seemed to be some alien activity on my head in one shot, visible only in the photo, as alien sightings are prone to be. No, really. Will scan shortly.
Tonight Kinneret (a reader of mine for a long time who also has a lovely journal, and coincidentally happens to basically live down the street from Hanne) is coming by to hang out and do the meet n'greet biz, and if the fates be kind, Malcolm will be able to get out of bed and actually eat something, the poor guy.
Tomorrow is my last day here, which will likely include a trip to a museum in the city which has what seems like some fab exhibits adressing public health and forensic pathology. Ahhhh. Be still my beating (and yes, a bit twisted, but you know you love it) little heart.
posted by Heather Corinna 4:39 PM
Totally, Lisa. I don't even have to drink to feel hungover the next day. If it is past 1AM (my pumpkin time), I know the next day I will have that "blech" feeling unless I go workout.
posted by Seska Roonie 11:36 AM
Actually, the worst thing I am suffering this morning is a bit ol'bout of sleepiness from simply staying up really late and not sleeping in. But it was only Champagne, yanno. 'Twas nice to get to be loopy for a night though. You have to love those bubbles. They seem to accomplish what hard liquor does not, and quite gently, at that.
I feel for the M-boi though, I do. Especially since it's 11:00 and he still has yet to emerge from the bedroom. I didn't mean to participate in assisted misery, really I didn't.
On the upside, I just saw a portfolio of the Minneapolis photographer for the Trib who'll be doing a shot of me for the Sunday foldout on sex ed when I get back home, and his work is really quite lovely. I think I scared him, though. He asked if I had any ideas for a photoshoot, and I assured him I often had plenty of ideas for photoshoots, but from what I recall of the Trib, I didn't think most of them were really suitable. Poor, poor man.
posted by Heather Corinna 10:10 AM
You know, I always worry when I start sentences with phrases like, "back in the day," but really, it is true.
I remember when I started college, I could easily stay up partying until the wee hours of the morning, get 4 hours rest, and be absolutely *fine* for all my classes (including that pesky 8:00 class) Now, If I indulge too much, I'll pay for it for at least 2 days by way of fatigue, joint aches, and a general state of "blech." Vodka tends to be better than other things, but still, 3 cosmopolitans, and I'm down for the count. Considering my past drinking escapades, that's nothing (I mean, really nothing). do all people recently 30 experience this bewilderment at their own limitations?
Older and wiser, but a little less resilient, all things considered. Thankfully, I tend to take better care of myself now, so it evens out, but I'm perfectly aware of how my body has changed; over the past 10 years, especially.
posted by Lisa Link 9:54 AM
Heather's fine this morning. About as perky as usual, pre-caffiene.
The same cannot be said of my SO, who is in fact not at work. I found him sitting on the floor of the tub after he gamely struggled through a pre-work shower and told him to drink some more water and go back to bed. He's still drunk, extremely hung over, and perfectly miserable.
Moral of the story: Yes, honey, you're over 30 now, and the hummingbird-like metabolism of your youth, which once enabled you to drink Kamikazes with impunity, has gone the way of the New Kids on the Block. Sometimes it is a very bad idea to try to keep up with a force of nature.
Me, I don't even try. I know better than to overload my already rather unstable immune system with ethanol, particularly when I know full well that even one or two drinks have a tendency to depress my immune system sufficiently that I end up getting revoltingly ill within 24 hours unless I manage the alcohol with enormous care and forethought. Heather and my SO were fun to watch for a while, though.
We'll see when (or whether) we make it in to Baltimore to go museuming and such today. I hate to leave the lad all alone when he's feeling so crappy.
posted by hanne blank 9:07 AM
12.19.2001
Oh, dearie me. Heather and my SO are both quite giddily tanked on Kir Royales, despite the fact that I did my best to balance out the alcohol by making some kick-ass Thai spring rolls (we decided to make the won tons tomorrow). They're giggly and goofy and awfully damned cute. Heather swears it's the bubbles in the Champagne that make her so incredibly drunk. This from a woman who drinks tequila with as little aftereffect as if it were a freakin' glass of Strawberry Quik. She also swears she's not drunk, only tipsy. If this is merely tipsy, I fear what "drunk" is like... my SO is most definitely far beyond "tipsy" and into "slurring my speech a bit and having issues with precision motor function." Oooo, his Thursday morning meetings at work are gonna be all sorts and kinds of interesting...
And I will be smiling sweetly, sanely, and un-hung-overedly. Ah, the joys of sobriety. I'll save the rest of the gloating for tomorrow. For now, I'm enjoying the floor show. Heather dances, sings, giggles, wobbles, and warbles.
posted by hanne blank 11:12 PM
Yay! Whee! Pugtures!
I didn't know Sofia could type! That is one talented pug.
posted by hanne blank 8:30 PM
posted by B. Labouyi 5:01 PM
Well, I'm about to take Missy Heather to the Daedalus Books outlet store, one of suburban Maryland's best-kept secrets and one of the few genuine pleasures of living here in Columbia. 2002 calendars are on mega-sale. I think I'm gonna spend some of my Chanukah gelt.
The neighbors downstairs are apparently getting rid of their old couch and chair, and have left them out on the broad landing there in front of their apartment for the Salvation Army to pick up. The seating faces the apartment where the other downstairsekehs live, the ones with the little black pug. Seating is thus provided for any who wish to await the appearance of a snorflewriggly little doglet. Coincidence? I think not.
Tomorrow, Heather and I will go to the American Visionary Art Museum (http://www.avam.org). I'm also gonna take her to the George Peabody Library )click here for a picture) and out to lunch at the Joy America Cafe. Don't tell her! It's a SEEEKRIT!
Tonight, we're gonna make Thai spring rolls, and munch on them while we make tofu-watercress-cloud ear wontons, since Heather has asked me to teach her how to make Chinese dumplings at home. Perhaps we will dip my SO in the dipping sauce. It'd do him good.
B., post more pug pictures! I want to see more pictures of Sofia being goofy.
posted by hanne blank 1:25 PM
All this talk of SL and its revampiness has me very intrigued. What will the divine H's come up with next?
Last night I had a Heather-Sofia dream. In my dream Heather was proclaiming that she would get a new pug on each of Sofia's birthday. She wanted a house of pugs. Sofia has invade my dreams. She is divine.
posted by Seska Roonie 12:43 PM
You *know* it is a fabulous day when two beautiful, smokey-voiced women call you with all sorts of creative, exciting ideas for the future. Consider my interest peaked.
I offered my cats a miraculous visit to sit on the pug's lap, but strangely, they seemed uninterested. Oh well, they'll be disappointed when they find their stockings empty on Christmas Morn...
posted by Lisa Link 10:28 AM
Now I'm picturing Mary with big hair and highway flare makeup, snapping gum.
posted by Chris Bridges 9:49 AM
The phrase "Most Blessed Pug" is making me imagine Sofia wrapped in swaddling clothes, pressganged into theatrical appearance as the very wriggly-butted and exceptionally furry Baby Jesus in some demented John Waters-esque version of the nativity story. Her halo, I expect, would be rather dented and chewn-upon. And the Three Wise Queens, arriving as the pinspots rise in the East (Come back, Divine! Come back!), would have to bring her a rubber chicken, a container of Urban Decay lip gloss, and a six of Anchor Steam.
If there were anything that would get me to actually celebrate Christmas, even in a secular way, it would probably be this.
posted by hanne blank 7:39 AM
Come gather, ye children, and stand here in line
for I've things I must say and there's hardly the time.
Put on your finery, give it a tug,
we're taking a trip to the Most Blessed Pug.
She rules with her wisdom, and iron-clad paw
so approach her with reverence, caution and awe.
Above all do not appear haughty or smug
as you enter the presence of All Mighty Pug.
Her beauty is famous, her face the right size.
She's surely an angel in some mortal guise.
The men all do court her, she says, "Humbug!"
"Why limit myself?" asks the fun-loving Pug.
Her courtiers scurry about, trying to choose
just the right thing that will keep her amused.
Her whims are capricious, they say with a shrug,
but it's worth it to live with Her Highness, the Pug.
Her hunger spurs legends, her thirsts men do fear
as they scramble to keep her supplied with cold beer
from a saucer most dainty (she disdains the jug):
Let's see you keep up with the hard-drinking Pug!
All threats to her people she quickly destroys,
(they're built her three castles to hold all her toys).
No one dares cross her, not varlet or thug,
for they tremble like babes at the wrath of the Pug.
Her attentions are loving, her affections are wide
and the stoughtest of warriors can't best her stride.
If she thinks that you need one she'll give you a hug,
Thank the gods that we serve 'neath the All-Seeing Pug!
I've seen her just once, but I'll never forget
the grace of her smile, like I was her pet.
So put on your best clothes and pull your hats snug,
we're off to be graced with Her Majesty, Pug!
posted by Chris Bridges 6:47 AM
hey, it's me.. sorry I missed you earlier today. It was an "out all day" thing, went into Seattle to finish the christmas shopping (found out everything the girls want is sold out everywhere. *sigh*) had lunch with David, met up with James for a dinner thingie... ugh, it's almost midnight and I've been gone since 10am this morning.
re: Jim, don't worry about him, if he was short it's because he's been dealing with ME this time of year - I can be a pain in the ass at the holidays, I get way too stressed out trying to do everything that needs done with 3 kids. So we've been a sniping at each other for the last 2 days straight. :)
posted by Jane Duvall 1:44 AM
12.18.2001
Oddly, I am beginning to realize that when I am a house guest, I feel less of a need to be glamourous than I do in my own home. I've no idea what is up with that.
I really miss my dog. Beyond Sofi just being an incredibly cool dog, she adds a certain level of inescapable sturcture to my daily life that I actually crave: there is no saying no when she really needs a walk, or when she wants a bit of play or what have you. It's actually one of the reasons that we got a dog, and is highly effective. I seriously reccomend it.
Hanne just went to take a nap, as the poor lass isn't feeling so hot today. It's a very sad sight to see a brash and outsopken domme when she doesn't feel good.
Okay, the suburbs are weird. There will be hours and hours of quiet interrupted by the strangest things. Some guy outside, who I suspect is part of what I now know to be the carpet-laying conspiracy next door (I originally was suspecting a troupe of practicing trampolinists), just growled "Gawddammit" very loudly for no clear reason. I tell you, the drama and suferring of it all out here is lalaland. It really just ruins one's whole existence when the carpet refuses to lay right, doesn't it?
I just tried to call Jane to check in and make sure she was doing okay, but she wasn't home, and Jim seemed a bit short and guarded with me, which is kind of a bummer. We've actually always liked each other a lot and had a good time talking, but it seems that given what jane and I worked through and waded in the muck of for the last few months means I have some fixing to do with him as well, and perhaps with her other partner too. These are the moments at which I kind of wish so many of my friends were'n't poly. It can get a bit daunting to have to keep things right with more than one partner of a friend. Then again, maybe he was just busy. But I kinda doubt it. Seems I have some reworking to do with him as well, which is okay -- it's always worth that when you really like people, even if they're sort of your friend by default of being involved with your primary friend, if that makes sense.
P.S. Hanne has ICQ issues. :)
P.P.S. Lisa, are you up for a call a bit later about SL stuff? Blog once for yes, twice for...nah. I need more java, clearly. Just drop me an email if you are with your work #, which appears to have been written in my address book in ink which becomes invisible once it crosses the Mason-Dixon line.
posted by Heather Corinna 1:24 PM
Caffeine crisis averted! I start my own "coffee drip" at 6:30 am, because although I don't roll into work until 9:00am (and my office is literally 7 minutes from our house) my beloved has to be in by 8:30, and he has a 30 minute commute, at least. Consequently, by the time I've hooked up with Heather on ICQ at around 10:00am EST, I'm positively perkey (much to her dismay, i'm sure :) Peet's Coffee deliveres Gaia Organic Blend and Major Dickason's Blend to my house every 3 weeks, and even then, it isn't quite often enough.
Well, I for one am certainly excited to hear what you saucy ladies have cooked up all new and exciting for Scarlet. It's hard to believe that baby Scarlet is 4 years old. Where does the time go?
posted by Lisa Link 12:15 PM
Just when I figure it's safe to leave to take my SO to work, hit the post office, and go buy Heather some more coffee...
Yes, the coffee was in the freezer. Not that Heather hadn't seen me take it out of the freezer (and replace it later) a few times, but I suspect that the pre-caffienated brain does not have the spare cycles to devote to that kind of remote memory access. Now there is even more coffee in the freezer.
Heather, honey, the reason you can't find ICQ on this machine is because there isn't any. Nor AIM, nor IRC. As any true geek knows, if you want to talk realtime, you can't do better than a MOO, MUSH, or MUD: all the chattiness without the annoying goddamned clients, and with far more programmatic customizability and communicative range of expression. I've been MOOing since 1994. And I hate, truly hate, with a blind, flying passion, ICQ. It's a ludicrous interface, plus it's balky, plus I get enough spam mail and telemarketer phone calls as it is, and since I cannot physically abuse those who spam me via ICQ with "cum see our cherry-poppin' teenie sight! FREE! so explicit it's banned in all 51 states!" bullshit, there is no percentage in my subjecting myself to the systemic and programmatic shortcomings. All MOO, no spam, and a nice friendly client like TinyFugue or MUSHClient or my current staple, JMOOer. Much better.
That said, I've been telling Heather for years that I'd be happy to teach her how to MOO. Maybe now I'll get to. We'll see.
We all enjoyed yesterday's trip to the Aquarium. Heather seemed particularly pleased by the rooftop rainforest, whose climate would, on a protracted basis, be the cause for suicide for me. Heather found it most amenable and basked in it most happily. I enjoyed getting to know the names of the tree sloths that live in the rainforest area: Rapunzel and Shlomo. Fine names for animals which resemble bad shag wigs stuck in trees. Heather seemed charmed by the zebra shark and by the rays, and by the little arrow poison froggets. However, we found that looking at fish was making Heather very hungry, so we left and performed the traditional post-Aquarium rite of getting a table at Legal Seafood for lunch. Heather also seemed quite pleased by Legal Seafood, and did an admirable job of showing her gustatory appreciation for many of the types of critters we'd been looking at earlier. She also seemed tickled by being able to get bananas Foster, and by not having to explain to the waitron how one makes a Sidecar.
Back to work with me. I'll let Her Royal Scarletness have at the keyboard later on.
posted by hanne blank 10:09 AM
C'est moi again. I found the coffee. In the freezer. Duh. Now Hanne will inevitably tease me the rest of the week by putting little post-its with instructions leading from the guest room to the coffee beans. Oy. But hey, I have coffee on the way. So that's something.
I miss talking to everyone during the day. I'll have to get Hanne to show me how to find ICQ on this damndable PC. Yes, I am touching a PC this week.
Today might be a bit of a work day for us. A reporter from the Chicago Tribune apparently called the house in my absence, wanting to send out a photographer for a Scarleteen piece I did an interview for a month and some ago. I'm highly reticent about this. One, the last time a newpaper photog did a shot of me he made me look like a gargoyle, which, I'll admit, has its own sort of charm, but I'd prefer not to have the whole world thinking I'd be suitable both in my office and as trendy lawn ornamentation. Too, if the article is either a bit negative in aspects OR too positive, including my photo can be asking for trouble. With the adult sexual material, that's fine. But with teen sex ed in our current political climate, it is actually a bit risky. I do like to sleep at night without dreaming of renegade fundies using my face as a dartboard.
It seems like Hanne wants to take Scarlet Letters in the same direction I do, which is cool (especially after now four years of doing it, we're ready for some evolution), but does mean we'll need to enter the Sexpot Thinktank for a few hours at least and hash it all out. More on that when it happens. And I think I'll let Hanne give the commentary on yesterday's aquatic adventures a little later, too. I need to go have my coffee. Before I perish.
posted by Heather Corinna 9:06 AM
Yes, au contraire. That is not grits (we live in Minneapolis, luv, not Annapolis), but a saucer of what is likely $3 a bottle beer. B. gives her this with some regularity.
Never, never let it be said that I am the only one in our small alternafamily unit who spoils that dog to her little canine core. B. discovered she liked beer (given how she begs for it when he opens it, and thank goodness, she at least has taste, given that crap American liquid that comes in cans is not something to ever be found in our home, eeew), and well... you see what it led to.
So, I woke up and Hanne is gone and I cannot find any coffee. I think I must have done something truly bad in my sleep last night to deserve this sort of punishment, abandoned in the suburbs without java. Woe.
posted by Heather Corinna 8:34 AM
Grits? No, darling. Not grits. I'll let Heather fill you in.
posted by hanne blank 7:43 AM
Thos are totally priceless! *assuming other people can see them, too, and this isn't a psychotic fantasy*
But dear Maude... is Princess Sophia being fed grits?!?
posted by Sabrina Dent 5:50 AM
12.17.2001
Heather said something about being able to write in HTML on this, so here's a test. If it doesn't work, I blame it on Sabrina since I can delete the post later and claim she's off her meds again.
If'n you go to Pug Central
you'll have plenty of pug and scruffy haircut infusions to last you through Heather's Baltimore visit.
Note that it is, in fact, a measure of my talent that I can operate a digital camera while wrestling for a squeaky chicken using only my teeth. Few others, aside from Chris Bridges, can make such claims of physical prowess.
Other notes on the photos:
1. A portion of the dirty laundry mentioned before can be seen in the background of some photos. (Does this count as publicly airing Heather's dirty laundry?)
2. The dog is well fed and given plenty of fermented beverage to keep her coat shiny.
posted by B. Labouyi 6:16 PM
then I'd go with straight grey goose martinis. just the vodka, and the vermouth supplied solely by tipsy olives.
posted by Jane Duvall 3:12 PM
I was thinking something a little gritty too. hmmm
Unfortunately, my theme ideas were thrown out the window by my co-host so we just have a colour theme -red and blue. Not for any reason other than it matches his decor.
Before Sofia existence, way before I even knew Miz S, I lived on a cosy little street which had its own neighbourhood pug. Every time I saw him I'd say "pug" under my breath, emphasizing the "g" sound. It is a weird little habit of mine that has been emphaiszed since Sofia was introduced to me. More hmmm.
posted by Seska Roonie 10:24 AM
Or a Hemingway-style (i.e., real, not frozen and overly-sweet and foofoo) daiquiri. One must have a certain gritty panache for a proper NYE. Out with the old, in with the new...go ahead, year, make my day, you know? Brandy Alexander for the ladies, if they'd like.
There is a pug that lives downstairs from me. It's a black pug. Every time we pass the door, Heather now stops, points, and says, "pug," as if willing it to come out to play with her. So far it hasn't worked (the acquaintance was made fortuitously). But who knows?
Her Royal Scarletness' pug-wrangling powers may yet be proven not only superior, but dowright supernatural...and we'll see how she fares with sea creatures later on, as we're taking her to the National Aquarium (a.k.a. "the library where they keep the fish," as I put it in an extremely bleary late-night ramble to my SO when we were sleepily discussing where we were going to take Heather while she was here).
I did buy coffee, by the way. I'm a domme, but not really a sadist. And I now need to go buy more coffee. I had not realized until now that it was possible for one woman to be singlehandedly responsible for the welfare and well-being of an entire village of indigenous Venezuelan coffee-growers, nor how important and humanitarian Heather's project of drinking enough coffee every 24 hours to entirely replace her blood supply really was. I'm grateful to be shown the human side of what might have otherwise seemed to be just another tawdry addiction.
I might also mention that making a companionable pot of tea in the mornings as Heather caffienates has upped my own caffiene consumption prodigiously. Like, from one cup of tea to two or three, even. My stars and garters, what is the world coming to?
posted by hanne blank 9:55 AM
- TOO QUIET IN MARYLAND SUBURBS STOP -
- NEED EMERGENCY INFUSION OF PUG AND HUSBANDTHING STOP -
- SEND SQUEAKY TOYS AND SCRUFFY HAIRCUT ASAP STOP -
- JAMES BOND PARTY REQUIRES STIFFER DRINK STOP -
(I'm thinking something very straightforward and macha - try a gimlet or a dirty martini)
posted by Heather Corinna 9:31 AM
Janie is so right about Apple Martinis (and the grey goose vodka - that stuff is superb). They are delicious and easy. You can also rim the glass with a bit of green colored sugar, too.
Also, you might want to consider making a drink called a "White Lady" - it is a mixture of cointreau, gin, and lemon juice, just for women of purity and innocence, of course :) I'll look and see what the exact proportions are, and post them later.
posted by Lisa Link 8:37 AM
Seska, how about green apple martinis? Oh my gawd, they are like candy. Jolly Rancher green apple candy in adult form. One part sour green apple schnapps, one part vodka, garnish with a slice of apple. My fave vodka being Grey Goose these days, Stoli a close second. YUM
posted by Jane Duvall 12:10 AM
12.16.2001
Chris - Of course you can write about that. No one could do it justice but you!
Heather - Glad you got yourself a drink. Tea and coulis can only do so much.
BTW, I need to come up with a signature drink for a party I am co-hosting this New Year's Eve. Suggestions anyone?
posted by Seska Roonie 8:26 PM
"Junkyard Wars - the sex toy edition". Okay, now I have to write that, that's just too good an idea. Seska, may I?
Heather - looking for trouble and starting with the redheads is only unfair and prejudicial when it isn't based on careful observation and history.
posted by Chris Bridges 6:42 PM
Bourbon + Rocks = Happy Girl
See how trite I get when I take time off?
posted by Heather Corinna 5:50 PM
The party's oooooover....
...and while I've had enough caffiene and raspberry coulis to kill an army, I haven't had a drink yet. Must fix.
Some man who was here whose name was a set of initials I can't recall attested that he did not talk to me because being near the redhead might get him into trouble. Silly man. When will people learn that when trouble is made, the redhead is always blamed? Really, you can get away with anything with a coppertop around, because we're always where the fingers point.
And Sabrina, my guess is that if you start making the "lick the cream off of tummy" comments, B. may be persuaded into posting. Or flying in your direction.
Now I must go make Hanne sing Volare.
posted by Heather Corinna 5:04 PM
Sabrina communicated with me? Now I know how God feels when delusional people are running around saying they've been in direct contact with the Big Cheese. The rumors of my posting and deleting have been greatly exagerrated.
Heather is making spurious claims about my activities in her absence too--is there a hidden webcam I should know about?
posted by B. Labouyi 5:04 PM
Tee hee - I can't wait to hear what the fabulous Hanne surprised you with. I've gone all tingly with anticipation :)
Do pop in soon and tell us how your tea party went...But hey, if it included Hanne's mushroom pate, I'm sure it was fabulous.
posted by Lisa Link 5:01 PM
I am not off my meds. He posted, and then deleted his entry. The scoundral!
Well, my 15 minutes of fame was nice while it lasted. Sniff.
posted by Sabrina Dent 4:29 PM
...say what? I swear to gawd, I can't leave for even a day without you estro-ing in on my territory...
Some girls, I tell you.
posted by Heather Corinna 3:35 PM
Pass...
Oh my god. I just communicated with the infamous B.
faints
posted by Sabrina Dent 3:27 PM
Oh, but it's so much more fun to leave y'all in suspense and listen to you guess. In fact, I want Chris' present now.
I should bathe. My tea party is in an hour or so, mushroom pate has been prepared, and I'm still sitting here in the duckie pajama pants with some ridiculous rhinestone-encrusted headband Hanne plopped on my head.
(P.S. Seska, you need send my password to your site over here. I don't believe the afternoon will be complete without a screening of Invasion of the Dildo People)
posted by Heather Corinna 11:44 AM
oh yes, do tell what the christmas prez was, I'm picturing some plush leopard spotted thing for Sofia.. :)
as far as the security screening goes, both Jim and I drew the "extra special groping" cards last time too. Him from Reno, me from Chicago. The funny part was that in Reno there is no xray machine for the checked luggage like there is in Chicago, so they go through it by hand. After pulling out rope, paddles, blindfold, and god knows what else, the security guard says very suspiciously "excuse me Sir but what is THIS?!"
it was the monopod for the camera. heh
posted by Jane Duvall 10:25 AM
Chirs with a mind like that I want to partner up with you for "Junkyard Wars - the sex toy edition".
H- Glad you made it in OK, but your comments about security doesn't make me look forward to visiting the US in January for that adult conference thing with my honey.
posted by Seska Roonie 10:11 AM
So what was the Channukah prezzie? I noticed that you didn't rule out the possibility that it WAS some gigantic sex toy, and I'm guessing it's cast-iron and copper, bolted together, with leather straps for Safety, operated by three burly men and one small person in the attached catbird seat who watches the proceedings carefully and screams instructions over the venting steam.
Anyway, that's my guess.
posted by Chris Bridges 9:39 AM
Greetings from luxurious, sunny Baltimore (where I have just finished my first cup of coffee, so the conversation described below has already been reenacted with Hanne and Malcolm, thank you)!
I did manage to get here, though arrived feeling like quite the slut indeed, not having been felt up by so many people in three different states within a span of a day since college. A few travel advisory notes for those wishing them at the present juncture in time: do not, I repeat, DO NOT, travel on an expired passport. What it means right now is that you do not pass go, nor collect $200 without going through every security screen known to man. Actually, traveling yesterday felt a good deal like traveling in Eurpoe, save that American security agents have yet to learn that a certain amount of courtesy and couth when doing full security screens, tossing through purses and feeling you up for weapons is a Good Idea.
For example, the latent homosexual man who picked up my small makeup bag and asked, "Do you really wear all of this makeup, because it doesn't look like you do..." was asking for either a lesson in makeup application or perhaps trying to make a subtle plea for a donation of lip gloss on his behalf. As well, a woman asking if she can pat my ankles was very, very lucky I was only operating on one cup of coffee yesterday, otherwise she would have found herself privy to a world of smart-assed remarks about needing to kiss me first. And I will remember in the future not to bring the skull and crossbones cigarette case again when traveling. Based on the fact that the security agent practically did a microscopic analysis on it, I think it is safe to say it looks a bit menacing.
I did manage not to throw a holy fit when I saw The List of people who needed security screens and noted that not even one name on it was of American or European origin (except mine). Bloody lovely. Note to domestic terrorists: now would be a very good time for you to have a field day, as our country has seemingly decided that white people, by default, and on sight unseen, could not possibly be dangerous or even worth consideration. Isn't that nice? Charming. I am so embarssed to be a citizen here sometimes.
But, I got here, found Hanne, Deb and my bag in record time, got an eyeful of where poor Hanne is presently having to live (where we did, however, find a vegetarian Indian restaurant that was quite impressive, so it ain't that bad), and arrived at Chez Hanne, where a drink was in order, then after dinner we all sat and watched Malkie's new DVD of Hedwig. And then I crashed hard, not unlike, say, a horse that's been rode hard and put away wet with a handful of Vicodin.
Okay, that was lme (hyuk, hyuk) so clearly, more coffee is in order. Over and out.
posted by Heather Corinna 9:03 AM
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